Stevie Wonder
Couldn’t chunder
So would eat whatever he liked.

He scoffed some cheese,
With twenty fours bees
And his next door neighbour’s bike.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Emilio Estevez
Bought a fez
And filled it with cream cheese.

He popped it on his head,
Sat on the couch
And watched Mighty Ducks Three.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Giggs the rapper
went to the crapper
and did a shit
through grit-
ted teeth.
It was the about the size
of a slab gammon or a
small joint of beef.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

“Oh no,”
Said Bono,
Dropping the hose.
“I think I better go.”

“What have you done?!”
Cried his neighbour,
As the fire engulfed his home.

“I was spraying petrol, not water!”
Laughed Bono.
“You shoulda called a pro!”

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Billy Joel
Dropped his soul
Inside a great big piano.

He smashed the keys
Both black and white
As it drifted off into the night.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Enrique Iglesias
Kissed all of his fingers
And all of his toes.

He whispered them sweet nothings
And called them his little heroes.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Michael Rosen
Felt honoured to be chosen
As one of few people to
Have his head frozen.

He thought about joy, forgiveness
And the importance of being kind
In the hope that,
Like his mind,
They’d be things to be frozen
And remain for all of time.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

George Clooney
Pulled a mooney
While drinking in the park.

No-one saw
‘Cos it was ten to four,
(In the morning)
So it was dark.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Adele
Fell
Down
A
Well
But soon climbed out
With a certain smell.

It wasn’t moss
Or dirt or wet
It was the sweet, sweet smell
Of another success.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Will Arnett
Shaved his Barnet
Using only his sultry voice.

When he opened his mouth
The hairs fell out
As they swooned: “Ooh he sounds noice!”

© Carl Burkitt 2018