Seth Rogan
Called his local curry house
To order a Rogan Josh
But when they asked for his order
He said “Rogan Seth”
And when they asked for his name
He said “Josh Rogan”.
It was really, really funny.
Hahaha.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

”That sucks,” said the lollipop, explaining human mouths to his mates.

And it was writing like that why Steve was dropped by his publishers.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

This poem is part of a challenge for National Poetry Writing Month 2019 – a poem a day celebrating an interesting US national day.

Robert Carlyle
Kept a file
On every mushroom he ate.
It was currently at zero –
He just didn’t trust the look of them.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Al Green
Needed a new washing machine.
So he got one.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Claire Danes
When to Spain
On a chocolate airplane.
It didn’t work,
Obviously,
And I’d rather not type what happened next.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Joss Stone
Found a bone.
It was long, thin
And unrecognisable.
2,000 scientists investigated it
And after four years they concluded
It was an old gazebo pole.
She properly laughed at the findings.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Haley Joel Osment saw some dead people.
It’d been a while, actually,
So he apologised and explained
How busy he’d been lately
And promised to text back more,
But they were having none of it.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Dennis Quaid
Used a spade
To complete most
Of his chores.
It always ended in disaster,
Of course,
But he wasn’t
Going to stop now.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Dame Vivienne Westwood
Bought some chocolate pud
And smeared it all over an old blouse.
It was a tough sell to high street chains,
But she did it.
Of course she did it.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Jackie Chan
Was told he’d never succeed
In learning the can can,
But he achieved his dream
Because deep down
He believed that he could could.

© Carl Burkitt 2019