Steffi Graf
Bought a giraffe
And called it ace.
Because it was.
Proper ace.
(Shit at tennis though)

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Kick Ass Star Aaron Taylor-Johnson
Decided to put a hyphen
Between Aaron and Taylor to become
Aaron-Taylor-Johnson
Just for fun.
But soon it got out of hand
And he demanded to be known as
Kick-Ass-Star-Aaron-Taylor-Johnson
And he got a reputation for being
Just not so fun.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Dave Franco
Shaved off his eyebrows
And replaced them with two slugs.
It was essentially pointless
Because he looked just the same
But that was his aim,
He was playing the long game.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Hugh Laurie
Hired a huge lorry.
He filled it with poo
And wasn’t even sorry.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Carlo Ancelotti had a giggle
Will sitting on the potty.
He loved the summer months.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Aaron Sorkin
Got to workin’
On something proper corkin’.
It was incredibly absorbin’
And was all about snorkelin’
Or walkin’
Or a man putting up some hoardin’.
I dunno.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Kanye West
Bought a vest.
It was the best vest.
He called it
West’s Best Vest.
It was average
At best (vest).

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Bear Grylls
Used the grill
Whenever he was at home.
Because he could.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Christopher Nolan put the bins out.
He did it in a non-linear way
Permeated by materialistic perspectives,
Practical special effects,
Innovative soundscapes,
Large-format film photography
And analogous relationships between
Visual language and narrative elements,
Mind.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Ventriloquist Nina Conti
Wanted a new puppet
So shoved her hand up
Anything she could find
To test drive it.
Post boxes, bowls of mashed potato,
Pencil cases, baby trees,
The ghosts of tormentors past,
An egg.
She tried everything.

© Carl Burkitt 2019