The unlikely love story of Irvine and Caroline

The world’s tallest man finally set up a date with the world’s shortest woman,
after two long years of talking online.

People laughed at this unlikely love story, but if she talked as sweetly as she typed
he knew they would be fine.

The world’s tallest man sat in the restaurant and slowly got drunk. They arranged to meet at six,
but it was now nine.

Furiously, he bent a teaspoon, just like that, settled his bill and screamed:
“She was supposed to be mine!”

As he kicked the door to leave, it sent the person behind it flying across the road,
crash landing on a double yellow line.

He approached the squashed, bloodied body and began to fear the worst:
“Oh Christ, is that you, Caroline?”

The world’s shortest woman, struggling to make out his far away face, uttered these final words,
before dying of a broken spine:

“I was here at six…
but I couldn’t reach the door handle.
I guess this was an unlikely love story,
my sweet Irvine.”

© Carl Burkitt 2013

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