Joel Edgerton
Made a pledgerton
To eat much more
Fruit and vedgerton.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Erin Brockovich
Starred in the film
Of Julia Roberts’ life.
The script and direction were amazing
And her performance was outstanding.
So much so
Julia Roberts
Starred in the film
Of Erin Brockovich
Winning an Oscar
As Julia Roberts.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Rebecca Black’s birthday
Fell on a Friday.
She was unbearable.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

John Goodman
Was a good man, luckily,
Because John Dickheadman
Didn’t have the same ring to it.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Salman Rushdie
Drank red bush tea
Because he hated chamomile
And despised coffee.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Isabella Rossellini
Made fettuccine
Out of tagliatelle,
Which was ultimately pointless.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Barry Manilow
Ate a cantaloupe.
15 times a day.
7 days a week.
He did it for years,
The idiot.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

1. Where You Bean All my Life?
2. Tall Order
3. Red Bush Blush
4. Love You, Dar(jee)ling
5. What’s Up With Brew?
6. Grande Ambitions
7. Sorry I’m Latte
8. Cappuchinos and Smart Shoes
9. Feeling Saucer
10. Nothing Like A Lie In With My Girl, Grey
11. Venti One’s Opinion
12. Espresso-so
13. Leaf it Out

© Carl Burkitt 2019

“So,” said the doctor.
“Tell me again why you have
Hot boiled egg yolk all over your face and head.”

“Remember I told ya, I’m a soldier,”
Laughed Lisa Maffia.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Ice Cube
Found a pube
In a cube of ice.
He let it melt
Then pulled it out
And chewed it up real nice.

© Carl Burkitt 2019