WWE’s Stephanie McMahon
Set off the smoke alarm.
The fire brigade made a lame joke
About being able to
Smell what the Rock was cookin’
As Stephanie and her husband Paul
Cried at all their burnt heirlooms.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Robert James-Collier
Went for a drink
With a woman called Abbie.
When he asked where she was from
She replied “down town”.
It wasn’t until about a week later
That the penny dropped
And he laughed wildly at her joke.
“Down town,” he said to himself.
“What a silly billy that Abbie Butler was.”
When he remembered her surname was Butler
Robert James-Collier almost passed out.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Billie Piper
Learned to play
The bagpipes
And changed her name to
Billie Bagpiper.
If I told you the success
She achieved under that name
You be blown away.
BLOWN away.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Stephen King
Had a terrifying evening:
It was warm, calm
And no-one died.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

American Idol winner Phillip Phillips
Bought a Phillips-head screwdriver.
Phillip Phillips loved his Phillips.
One day, designer Nick Philip
Nicked Philip Philips’ Phillips
And it’s safe to say
Philip Philips flipped out at Nick Philip.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Jarvis Cocker
Ate a knickerbocker glory
For breakfast every day.
People would yell
“You’re so thin, where does it go?!”
And he never knew what to say.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Patrick Schwarzenegger
Called his dad and said:
“What did you have for dinner?”
Arnold laughed:
“I’ll be back!”
Patrick waited on the phone
For nearly 7 weeks
Before hanging up.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Anastacia
Used Ambrosia custard
Instead of mustard
In her ham sandwiches.
It didn’t catch on.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Mickey Rourke
Would always talk
With his mouth full of pork.
He was awful.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Prince Harry
Asked people
To call him Larry.
And they did.
It soon got boring
So he went back
To doing Prince things.

© Carl Burkitt 2019