If I could bring one kind of
dinosaur back to life
I would bring back a T-Rex
And I would tickle it
And I would hug it
And I would kiss it
And I would love it
And I would fuck it.

I’m so alone.

© Carl Burkitt 2015

642 Challenge: “If you could bring one kind of dinosaur back to life, which would it be?”

Last week a very tall man
in a long black coat and dark sunglasses
offered me the chance to make one wish,
providing it helped the nation as a whole.

I pulled the man close to me and stared at him.
I pressed my nose against his, squinted
and gently whispered my wish to him.

The man hesitated.
‘Are you sure?’ he said. ‘But you only have one…’

‘Yes,’ I nodded. ‘Proceed.’

And with that
the very tall man
in a long black coat
removed his dark sunglasses;
revealing to the nation, the most beautiful eyes in the world.

© Carl Burkitt 2015

642 Challenge: “A very tall man in a long black coat and dark sunglasses offers you one wish, but it has to benefit the entire country.”

The dog who couldn’t bark
grew up to be a great listener.
He was quite a hit with the ladies.

© Carl Burkitt 2015

642 Challenge: “Write a story titled ‘The dog who couldn’t bark’.”

When NASA sent me a letter
inviting my dog to go to the moon,
I was shocked.

When I read I could only
pack him one thing to take,
I was stumped.

Pedigree Chum?
A bone?
A squeaky toy?
I had no clue.

In the end I chucked my toddler in there
so they could finally settle their turf war.

© Carl Burkitt 2015

642 Challenge: “Your dog has won a free trip to the moon. What do you pack for him?”

If I could eat only one thing
For my whole life

I’d pick the thing you said
Before you walked out my door.

© Carl Burkitt 2015

642 Challenge: “If you could eat only one thing your whole life, what would it be?”

It was my first ever visit from the tooth fairy
And, like anyone encountering a surprise intruder would,
I punched her square in the mouth.

As blood filled her gob and her molars littered my carpet
I apologised profusely and tried to aid her to her feet.

The tooth fairy rejected my help,
Swiped the change from my piggy bank,
And called me a ‘massive shit’.

© Carl Burkitt 2015

642 Challenge: “It was my first visit from the tooth fairy and I…”

Saturdays are my favourite.
Sundays are dull and spent dreading Monday;
Mondays are laborious and spent longing for any other day.
Tuesdays I start early so that I can finish early so that I can pick Tash up from school and then Marv up from school and then take Tash to trampolining and then Marv to choir practice and then pick Tash up from trampolining and then Marv up from choir practice to then put them both to bed.
Wednesdays are filled with meetings about meetings about meetings
And on Thursday I review what was said in those meetings,
Then on Friday I work from home so I get the chance to clean the house and walk the dog and pay the bills and do the weekly shop, before driving to Mum’s to cook her tea and feed her tea then wash her dishes and change her sheets.
But Saturdays?
Saturdays are mine.
Saturdays are for me;
Me and my dungeon.

© Carl Burkitt 2015

642 Challenge: “What do you do on a Saturday?”

Pin the tail on the donkey began.
Mary smashed the spike into the ass’s arse
As Devon,
The donkey,
Bit down on his lip and
Concentrated solely on the money he was being paid.

© Carl Burkitt 2015

642 Challenge: “Write from the donkey’s perspective during a game of pin the tail on the donkey.“