but the man on the table next to me in the pub loves his daughter. His mouth is saying how much he loves her as much as his body leaning in to listen to her is telling her he loves her. He loves the way she loves her husband. He loves the way she is buying the house that her and her husband love. He loves the way she ordered a three half pint beer tapas because she loves all three beers and can’t decide which one she loves more. He loves her laugh. He loves her opinions on people who step off of a kerb without looking left and right. He loves her anger. Her loves how she loves. He loves how she loves her husband. He loves how she hates her husband. He loves how she loves him. He loves how he loves her. He loves how he loves him around her. He loves.

Carl Burkitt 2025

A guy is doing 11 consecutive cartwheels at 1am in the dark fields of a musical festival. The first five are Simone Biles in a warmup session. Numbers six to eight are windchimes in a storm. Nine is a handstand. 10 is bent over vomiting. 11 is a round of applause from people sent to remind me that the world needs people who try.

Carl Burkitt 2025

“Where did you have lunch?”
“On the train.”
“What was it?”
“A train.”
“No, your lunch.”
“A sandwich.”
“What kind?”
“Don’t know.”
“Are you OK?”
“Yep.”
“Another pint?”
“Yep.”
“There you go.”
“Thanks.”
“Thinking about your mum?”
“Yep.”

Carl Burkitt 2025

The dog of some regulars is on the pub floor
chewing a bone his owners cannot remember
whether it is made out of turkey or duck.
Another regular asks the dog
if the bone is made out of turkey or duck
and the dog ain’t saying nothing.
Another regular notes that the dog and I have
the same curly hair on the top of our heads.
So another regular asks me if I know
if the bone is made out of turkey or duck
and I say it looks like turkey
because it’s a bit lighter than duck meat.
Another regular calls me a good boy.

Carl Burkitt 2025

I wonder what it takes
to be the kind of guy who packs an umbrella
in the exterior drinks holder of his work bag,
especially one with a cover that matches his socks.
He’s standing in the Victoria line tube carriage
with a shirt made personally for him
by the founder of Uniqlo, I assume.
Do his biceps know how lucky they are?
I think about the strangers I write about
and worry I get them all wrong
or project too much of me on to them.
Do they ever realise I am writing about them?
Shit, he’s looking at my notebook.
Goodness me he’s handsome.
His fringe pours down his forehead
like the rain he will protect himself from later.
I forgot to pack a coat this morning. 

Carl Burkitt 2025

It’s just a frog
jumping from the back of a shed
I am dismantling in my garden,
not my youth leaping out of my chest
away from jobs it doesn’t understand.

Carl Burkitt 2025

James Bond started following me.
I first noticed him in the precinct on my way to ASDA
and he walked behind me into Oxfam
and eventually Costa. He was wearing
a natty tuxedo and had a kind of pistol, I suppose.
I was trying to see if he had any gadgets
like exploding pens or a redeemable personality
but he was sort of just staggering around
with Martini-breath. I’m sure
there were other references I missed
because I’m not really a fan of the franchise.

Carl Burkitt 2025

like the health and safety instructor in my old job who bent his knees to pick up a box and farted or the under 12s football coach who called me ‘Legs’ because of a last-ditch sliding tackle I made or the boy at my son’s school who said I’m an embarrassing dad or the uncle who admitted he gets sad sometimes or the baby I saw nibbling a watermelon slice with her toes instead of her teeth or the dad who had to say goodbye to his 16-year-old son in a crematorium surrounded by 16-year-olds unsure how they got there or the dog in the local pub who eats Mini Cheddars.

Carl Burkitt 2025

your apple cores
your leftover cold egg
your empty Pom-Bear packets
your mispronounced words
your vomiting bugs
your soil bugs
your soiling my pants bugs
your fingertips pointing at new
your whispers
your explosions
your
everything 

Carl Burkitt 2025

[WILLIAM WONKER is having a tough time at school.]

[Curtain]

Carl Burkitt 2025