I’ve been meaning to say this for a while,
the retired Navy man says to the former butcher
leaning next to him on the pub bar,
when your garden is in full bloom, it’s delightful.

Carl Burkitt 2024

They’re talking about saunas.
Hairline likes feeling sweaty.
Flip Flops doesn’t like his chest feeling tight.
Hairline asks Flip Flops how his day was.
Flip Flops says he doesn’t like small saunas.
Hairline asks Flip Flops if he has plans tonight.
Flip Flops says he gets overwhelmed in them,
how the condensation makes him feel like he is
melting or the room is crying because he’s there.
Hairline asks Flip Flops if he wants another beer.

Carl Burkitt 2024

Erling Haaland is wearing white boots
with blue and green Velcro straps.
Whenever he puts his foot on the ground,
three mini lights on the side of them flash brightly.
His top teeth are chewing his bottom lip
and he’s standing in the community hall
with intent. When the coach says run
to a red cone, he sprints to a red cone.
When the coach says stand on one leg
and talk like a pirate, he roars ARRR
loud enough to make the tide go out.
He breaks quickly to rehydrate from a bottle
with illustrated tractors and lorries on it,
then rejoins the queue to smash penalties
into an empty net by the toilet door.
The session ends and Erling Haaland sits
cross-legged on the floorboards. He doesn’t win
the golden sticker today, but he gets a blue one
and asks the coach if I can have one too.

Carl Burkitt 2024

My mouth is on fire.
I no longer have a face.
I’m taking a vow of silence.
I’m allergic to words.
To be honest mate you’ve done the bare minimum
and I’m struggling to juggle everything in my life
right now and it wasn’t planned to not say thank you
I just had to get into the café quickly and sort
something out that I’m not quite prepared to share
with a stranger and I just hope you have the patience
for another human who you don’t know if their life
is falling apart or not.
I didn’t see you there.

Carl Burkitt 2024

I attended a course about songwriting
taught by Gary Barlow and the two of us hit
it off like a house on fire. I was useless at
the writing lyrics bit but Gary seemed to just
enjoy chatting me over a brew in the breaks
about beard length and our preferred
thickness of gravy on a pie. He told me he
didn’t quite remember his appearance
outside ASDA West Swindon as a teenager
in Take That and I had to admit I wasn’t
there either. We never talked about taxes or
COVID Zoom gigs but I did admit to crying in
a Sainsburys bakery listening to The
Greatest Day a week after being dumped.
He tickled my Adam’s apple and said ‘chin up’.

Carl Burkitt 2024

Wow. There they are. The Dawdlers.
Tight black jeans, oversized black puffer jackets,
matching black backpacks. The Dawdlers.
Right in front of me. A pop duo famous
for tracks like, ‘Don’t Worry, No Hurry’, and
‘Ain’t No Bars Like Staring At The Stars’.
The Dawdlers. Wow. Look at their shoulders
roll with the rhythm of a stranger’s head
doing its best to not nod off on the train.
The Dawdlers. Right here. “Walking”
through Euston train station
discussing the lyrics for their next track:
‘Tuts are just an applause of the teeth’.

Carl Burkitt 2024

A boomerang is a stick
that can’t bear to leave you.
A spicy curry is a meal
that is desperate for you to remember it.
A broken lamppost is someone
reminding you to look at the moon.
A motorbike accident is an accident
is an accident is an accident.

Carl Burkitt 2024

The two nine year old lads
are arguing outside the school gates
about which one is Batman
and which one is Robin.
‘You’re Batman and I’m Robin.’
‘No! I’m Robin! You’re Batman!’
‘No! I’m Robin! You’re Batman!’
On and on it goes – a nose to nose battle
for the chance to be unseen in red and green,
the pride of having the other one’s back.

Carl Burkitt 2024

You’re better than flat pack.
Don’t pretend you know me,
think poster on the billboard.
You’re better than flat pack.
What if flat pack furniture
is the only furniture I can get up to my flat,
thin poster on the billboard.
You’re better than flat pack.
What if I like my flat pack furniture,
thin poster on the billboard.
You’re better than flat pack.
If that’s true,
thin poster on the billboard,
why do I see myself in its frustration,
cheap quality, left over bag of unneeded screws?
You’re better than flat pack.

Carl Burkitt 2024

Sat still.
Facing forward.
Feet flat.
Arms crossed.
Unblemished trench coat.
No headphones.
No tea. No coffee
No looking left.
No looking right.
From 7.13am to 9.20am.
Doesn’t show train ticket when asked.
Smiles when ticket inspector nervously leaves.
Doesn’t remove food from his teeth.

Carl Burkitt 2024