George Clooney
Pulled a mooney
While drinking in the park.
No-one saw
‘Cos it was ten to four,
(In the morning)
So it was dark.
© Carl Burkitt 2018
6/5/18 – Clooney
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Author Archives: carltellstales
5/5/18 – Adele
Adele
Fell
Down
A
Well
But soon climbed out
With a certain smell.
It wasn’t moss
Or dirt or wet
It was the sweet, sweet smell
Of another success.
© Carl Burkitt 2018
4/5/18 – Arnett
Will Arnett
Shaved his Barnet
Using only his sultry voice.
When he opened his mouth
The hairs fell out
As they swooned: “Ooh he sounds noice!”
© Carl Burkitt 2018
3/5/18 – Hendricks
Christina Hendricks
Was taught some unconventional magic tricks.
Like,
How to win every game of Poo sticks,
And how to make an ice cream have unlimited licks.
She learned how to pick a lock using two chopsticks
And how to fly to Spain riding six toothpicks.
But the best trick of all,
Learned by The Amazing Hendricks,
Was how to nibble off the chocolate –
Without disturbing the caramel –
Of a Twix.
© Carl Burkitt 2018
Eggbasket by Brian Bilston
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2/5/18 – Rock
The Rock
Lost his socks,
He thought they were on the floor.
His toes were pretty chilly
So he went looking for more.
But he couldn’t find any anywhere
So made some out of meat,
He wiggled and he giggled
At his silly steak feet.
© Carl Burkitt 2018
1/5/18 – Anderson
Wes Anderson
Turned into stop motion animation.
His life felt slower, clunkier,
And way more frustrating.
Everything took hours,
Even a 10 minute meeting.
Christmas took longer to arrive each year
And barmen took weeks pouring a beer.
Wes was so sad in that scary slow place
But it took one month for a tear to roll down his face.
© Carl Burkitt 2018
30/4/18 – Dunst
Kirsten Dunst
Spent all her Bunse
On an overly lavish
Disgusting brunch.
Liquid prawns
On Monster Munch
With sour snails
For extra crunch.
She gobbled it down
‘Til way after lunch
And then was sick,
Obviously.
© Carl Burkitt 2018
This poem is part of a challenge for National Poetry Writing Month 2018 – a daily poem for a celebrity’s birthday.
29/4/18 – Pfeiffer
Michelle Pfeiffer quit being an pactor
And decided to become a pwriter.
But she wasn’t very good.
She kept putting a P in front of every pnoun.
Other pjournalists called her a pclown,
So she took them to pcourt for defamation.
But her plawyer said:
‘Don’t bother, you don’t have a pleg to stand on’.
© Carl Burkitt 2018
This poem is part of a challenge for National Poetry Writing Month 2018 – a daily poem for a celebrity’s birthday.
28/4/18 – Alba
Jessica Alba
Made some Melba toast.
She didn’t like to boast,
But it was drier, crispier and thinner than most.
She didn’t share it.
She at it all.
In one go.
Right down her gob hole.
She was a terrible host.
© Carl Burkitt 2018
This poem is part of a challenge for National Poetry Writing Month 2018 – a daily poem for a celebrity’s birthday.
Carl tells tales 