My son does not build worlds
around his wooden train tracks
to escape this one. He builds worlds
to talk to his imagination,
to make sense of his mind,
breathe life into his thoughts.
Carl Burkitt 2025
His thoughts
Reply
Author Archives: carltellstales
A Short Play About The Moon and Dave
[THE MOON is out. It’s big and round and the kind of silvery white you’d expect it to be. It’s an impressive thing up there, just floating and looking over us all. I wonder if it thinks about the people who have stood on it in the past, the people who have died trying to visit it, the poets who have described it as a staring eye, a full stop to the day, a grandparent appearing to check you are ok and how they will always be with you during the dark times. DAVE sits under the moon and starts wanking.]
[Curtain]
Carl Burkitt 2025
Fine
It’s not easy
so I’m making Grandma’s leek and potato soup
with no recipe, no direction,
just a photo memory of her smile,
chopping vegetables
into unpredictable shapes
with the confidence
that everything will taste fine.
Carl Burkitt 2025
A Short Play About Teapot and Jack
[TEAPOT and JACK are either watching a football match or at a funeral (it’s up to you, really).]
JACK: Why do they call you Teapot?
[Teapot tilts forward slightly and boiling water pours out of his nose and splashes on the referee (or the corpse his wife, depending where you decided they are).]
[Curtain]
Carl Burkitt 2025
A Short Play About Darren’s Chip Shop
[DARREN is in his chip shop.]
DARREN: SALT AND VINEGAR?!
[No one answers.]
DARREN: SALT AND VINEGAR?!
[No one answers. THE MANAGER walks over to Darren.]
THE MANAGER: We’re closed, Darren.
DARREN: SALT AND VINEGAR?!
THE MANAGER: And you don’t work here.
[Curtain]
Carl Burkitt 2025
A Short Play About Jarrod and Jelly
[JARROD and JELLY are on a train. Jarrod is eating a ham sandwich. Jelly is eating a humungous bowl of jelly.]
JARROD: Excited for our trip to London?
JELLY: Nomnomnomnomnomnomnom.
[Curtain]
Carl Burkitt 2025
A Short Play About A Tree and Dave
[There’s A TREE. A rather beautiful tree, actually. It’s approximately 400 years old and showing no signs of withering. Just imagine how many leaves this tree has said goodbye to and hello to over that time. Its bark is thick and wise. The branches reach up and out, offering the entire planet a hug as a thank you for giving it life, purpose and chance to dance in the wind, play in the snow, relax in the sun, grow in the rain. The tree is happy, content, excited for the future. DAVE sits under the tree and starts wanking.]
[Curtain]
Carl Burkitt 2025
A Short Play About William and The Window
[WILLIAM walks into the kitchen and makes a cup of tea on the opposite side to THE WINDOW.]
THE WINDOW: Come and have a look at this!
WILLIAM: I’ve seen the back garden before.
THE WINDOW: Who said it was the back garden?!
WILLIAM: Because you’re a window over looking the back garden.
THE WINDOW: Just come and look!
[William walks to The Window and sees the back garden.]
[Curtain]
Carl Burkitt 2025
A Short Play About Baby and Baby’s Parent
[BABY is wearing a classic chef’s hat, a blue and white striped apron over a nappy, and is holding a plastic whisk and a wooden spoon. BABY’S PARENT is sat on the floor, admiring the beauty of Baby.]
BABY: What can I get you?
BABY’S PARENT: What do you have?
BABY: [Incoherent rage]
BABY’S PARENT: What did I do wrong?!
[Baby sets fire to the kitchen.]
[Curtain]
Carl Burkitt 2025
A Short Play About The Boss and The Boss’s Boss
[THE BOSS walks into the office and sees THE BOSS’S BOSS standing with his back to him.]
THE BOSS: Morning boss.
THE BOSS’S BOSS: Sorry, mum!
THE BOSS: What?
[The Boss’s Boss blushes and throws The Boss out of the window.]
[Curtain]
Carl Burkitt 2025
Carl tells tales 