Pink is not a good colour for a football shirt

Posted on June 28, 2021 by carltellstales

Peppa Pig never says please.
She’s incredibly impatient
and believes jumping in puddles
is the only gender neutral game out there.
I’m watching Daddy Pig doing a fun run
with an orange flavoured ice lolly in his trotter.
He’s just eaten three bowls of spaghetti
and the whole town is laughing at him.
There’s been a mix up
with the white football tops and a little red dress
in the washing machine
and my son is staring out the window
at a skip filled with concrete.

In a loo in Crewe

Posted on June 27, 2021 by carltellstales

A hand-scribbled note
on the back of the door
is telling me to Never forget
and the second half
is too smudged to read
and my left forearm
has a golf ball sized bruise
that looks like a galaxy
if you squint
and no one knows
how it got there.

We’ve done it!

Posted on June 26, 2021 by carltellstales

Over and over again.
Over and over again.
We’ve done it.
We’ve done it.
Over and over again.
We’ve done it.
Over and over again.
It’s not getting easier.
But we’ve done it.
Over and over again.

Approximately a third of the way through your first year I’m on a stag do

Posted on June 25, 2021 by carltellstales

not understanding your skin
or the way you don’t like cold porridge
or the dog that’s too loud
or the eggs that don’t match
or the taste of banana
or how the high chair is not high enough
I’m eating at a steakhouse menu
wondering how many cows
didn’t like standing on cold metal.

I live with Scatman John

Posted on June 24, 2021 by carltellstales

He sits on the play mat,
centre stage,
pointing at the audience of crumbs
and floorboard eyes
and stained cushions
and the roof of a secondhand furniture shop
and the TV remote under the plastic snail,
spitting out the sounds
of a person inventing language.