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Monthly Archives: November 2019
13/11/19 – Goldberg
Whoopi Goldberg
Was thinking of a word.
It was a good word.
A funny word.
An absurd word.
A very, very rude word.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
12/11/19 – Young
Neil Young
Only ate frozen fish.
He liked saving
His cash, you see.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
SCIMON-FIMON by The Astronaughties
1. Mercury, Venus, Earth, Laughs
2. Time And Space Continue, Mum
3. Shooting Shart
4. Dalek Bread
5. Whitney, We Have A Problem
6. Rock Around The Spock
7. UFOff
8. Space Cocket
9. Obi-Wan Kenobi-Nil
10. Horrorscopes
11. Milky Weyhey!!!
12. Chewy And Han’s Duet
13. Why Don’t You Come On Over Gravity?
© Carl Burkitt 2019
11/11/19 – Moore
Demi Moore liked to score
Overhead kicks.
The opportunity to do so
Was incredibly rare,
But my word when they came up
She twatted them
Straight in the top corner.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
10/11/19 – Bonneville
Hugh Bonneville
Built himself a butler
Out of papier-mâché.
He called it Alfred Glueington
And kissed him every day.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Official Secrets
Good, but the couple
Never had a consistent
Side of the bed. Odd.
#HaikuReview | Carl Burkitt
9/11/19 – Sisqó
‘God I’m old,’ thought Sisqó
After singing about
His salad tongs.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
8/11/19 – Ramsay
Gordon Ramsay made some soup.
First he boiled up a few
Leeks and potatoes
Then mushed it all up
With a vegetable stock.
After 45 minutes
He yelled his insecurities
(And a pinch of salt and pepper)
Into the thick, IDIOT broth.
It tasted like UTTER DOG SHIT
And he FUCKING LOVED IT.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
7/11/19 – Lorde
Lorde was bored.
She looked in the mirror
And said: “I’m BLorde,”
In the hope it would cheer her up.
It didn’t.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Carl tells tales 