Paul Giamatti
Felt a bit farty,
So popped some paint in his pants
To make the toots look all arty.
© Carl Burkitt 2018
6/6/18 – Giamatti
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Monthly Archives: June 2018
The Beatles In Our Luton Bungalow by John Hegley
Image
5/6/18 – Wahlberg
Mark Wahlberg
Hit an iceberg
Whilst sailing in the dark.
He cried:
“This is lame,
I hate my name,
It’d never have happened
If I’d stayed Marky Mark.”
© Carl Burkitt 2018
4/6/18 – Jolie
Angelina Jolie
Turned off her TV
And decided to go see the sea,
In 3D.
So she bought a ticket to a
Screening of The Beach
At a local hip, cool cinema.
It was 2D, unfortunately,
But she wore 3D glasses anyway.
© Carl Burkitt 2018
Footsie
Lenny felt lonely so started playing footsie with himself. It felt lovely, so he slid his left foot up his inner leg and tickled his willy with his big toe.
© Carl Burkitt 2018
3/6/18 – Nadal
Rafa Nadal
Bought a cow
In the search for something to do.
He served it brunch,
Then served it lunch
And taught it how to moo.
He laughed: “You’re ace!”
Right in its face
And kissed it whenever he felt blue.
© Carl Burkitt 2018
2/6/18 – Miller
Wentworth Miller
Went to dinner
Alone to catch a break.
As played on his phone,
He let out a moan,
And longed for his friends’ ear ache.
© Carl Burkitt 2018
1/6/18 – Freeman
Morgan Freeman
Had the day free
So planted a tree, man.
He learnt to ski, man.
He swam in the sea
And ate an ice cream, man.
He cut a key, man.
He threw a Frisbee, man.
He drank some tea,
Had a wee,
Shaved his goatee,
And finally caught up on some sleep, man.
© Carl Burkitt 2018
Carl tells tales 