The kind-hearted amongst you would probably look at the Chocolate Hog and feel sorry for it. With a perfectly cylindrical torso, no tail and zero legs, it’s easy to pity this Christmas Creature.
But there’s no need. The Chocolate Hog is thrilled to be alive. A lack of limbs allows it to do the one thing it enjoys the most – rolling down hills. And with the sweetest of sweet-tooths, this cocoa-skinned so-and-so gorges on its flesh until it meets the tastiest of deaths.
© Niklaus Von Stuffingball 1849