Cornwall. 4th July 2014. 20.35pm – 25 minutes before kick off.

Barbara, 96, and Hazel, 94, are sat on the sofa.

Barbara laughs reading the hook of the BBC Sport preview of the Brazil vs Colombia game.

BARBARA: “Brazil star Neymar will be fit despite suffering blows to his thigh and knee against Chile.”

HAZEL: Right.

BARBARA: Players are just so wet these days.

HAZEL: Thighs and knees are pretty vulnerable, Barbara.

BARBARA: To a gust of wind?!

HAZEL: Eh?

BARBARA: “Despite suffering blows to his thigh and knee.”

HAZEL: No, it means-

BARBARA: I mean seriously! A little blow of air! Such wetties.

Hazel gently blows on the back of Barbara’s neck.

BARBARA: Jesus! There a draft in here?

Hazel smiles and blows really hard.

BARBARA: SHIT!

Barbara falls off the sofa, her shoulder popping out of its socket.

© Carl Burkitt 2014