I keep having dreams about you,
But I don’t know what they mean

Like the one I had last night
We kissed by candle light
But when I reached into your trousers, your penis was gone

You looked me in the eye and sang a song
I’m not quite sure what you said but it went on too long
Something about cheddar cheese and Cillit BANG

I think that’s what you sang
But then the doorbell rang
It was your boyfriend coming to collect you

His face was different, like lumps of tissue,
His feet were slugs and he was selling the Big Issue
You looked so pleased to see the old dear

We all went out to grab a beer
My pint was filled with a solitary tear
The landlord had the head of a horse

I made the long face gag, of course
But you flipped out and punched me with force
Your boyfriend pulled your trousers down, your penis was back

He kissed you and fondled your sack
The TV played Art Attack
And I was Neil Buchanan

I keep having dreams about you
But I don’t know what they mean

© Carl Burkitt 2012