Attention span

Posted on August 30, 2016 by carltellstales

She peeled her orange
to reveal her own face staring back at her.

She pondered her very existence
until her BFF texted her a massive ROFL
And she pegged it to the night club.

The day I murdered seven men

Posted on August 17, 2016 by carltellstales

The day I murdered seven men, I was grumpy. But that doesn’t tell the whole story, you see. I was very, very sleepy and I’m rarely happy when I have a bad night’s rest. I start the morning all slow and dopey, but then the smallest thing can set me off. This day – the day I murdered seven men – it was that precious little “princess”. She always acts so bashful and coy, but she’s not. She’s manipulative. She has all the guys clamouring over her and gets them to do all of her dirty work: filing, proofing a Word Doc, franking the post. The other day she even got one of them to clean and dust her desk, fully aware he has allergies! Poor sod was all puffy and sneezy. Unbelievable. She’s like it with all of them, but they just put on a brave face and whistle away their day. Well, they used to. The day I murdered seven men, I was grumpy. But I like to think I put those little guys out of their misery. Not everything is as black as coal or white as snow.

Green Garden

Posted on August 11, 2016 by carltellstales

Laura fulfilled her dream
And flew on the wings of a butterfly.

She took her shoes off as
They danced through the garden
As high as a tree tall and down again.

The green velvet carpet
Invited them down to bathe in the sunlight
But Laura’s human weight proved
Far too heavy for the tiny insect (obviously)
And they crashed to the ground
In a pile of blood and chipped bones.

Inspired by Laura Mvula’s Green Garden

The hoarder

Posted on August 9, 2016 by carltellstales

The hoarder hoarded everything:
His hopes
His dreams
His heart
And the stamps she loved from the ’50s.

Tough gig

Posted on August 5, 2016 by carltellstales

Dave Celery climbed off stage.
He apologised to the venue owner
For the poor turnout
Before fucking the oldest
Of the three crowd members.

Disgust

Posted on August 1, 2016 by carltellstales

Leather Trevor
Couldn’t believe his eyes.

He scooped the ball out of his mouth,
Loosened his chains,
Grabbed his mother’s lead
And stomped out of the party
In disgust.

Thriftiest dish

Posted on August 1, 2016 by carltellstales

The man with little money made
soup from things he found,
Like hair and glass and
chewing gum off the ground

But the thriftiest dish he was proud of,
the one he loved the most,
Was a bowl of his boyfriend’s thigh skin
and a side of shinbone toast

Shoebox World

Posted on July 28, 2016 by carltellstales

The little tiny lady
Climbed inside her shoebox
And mixed her thimble of tea
With her miniature spoon.

As she nibbled on her biscuit crumbs
She dreamed about being bigger
And stressed herself out
Thinking of all the admin.

Pantomime

Posted on July 26, 2016 by carltellstales

The pantomime villain
Finally listened to the crowd,
Turned round and shot
The handsome lead in the stomach.

Did he bleed to death?
Oh, yes he did.

I don’t want to be who I am tonight

Posted on July 25, 2016 by carltellstales

I don’t want to be who I am tonight
I want to be you, with your chin
I want to walk above the world and drink the clouds
I want to pronounce ‘bath’ incorrectly
I want to drop everything I hold and pick it back up
I want to feel your blood
I want to be the backs of your knees or the crooks of your elbows
I want to think so hard I scare myself and plot my next roadtrip
I want to see the grey in things
I want to kiss the light and laugh at the dark
I want to share my gifts with those who’ve earned it
I don’t want to be who I am tonight
I want to be you
And see me how you do

Inspired by a line in Are We Alive by Augustines.