but you have picked up a fallen leaf
and you are trying to stick it
back on the tree. I’m learning
to say nothing.
© Carl Burkitt 2022
It won’t work
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Category Archives: Poems
Your body is going to die your body is going to die your body is going to die
He doesn’t seem to mind
yelling it on the high street
drinking from a Costa Coffee cup.
There’s a child holding the hand
of a man wearing a Captain America T-shirt
walking towards a bloke selling candy floss.
YOUR BODY IS GOING TO DIE.
YOUR BODY IS GOING TO DIE.
YOUR BODY IS GOING TO DIE.
The man wearing a Captain America T-shirt
buys one bag of blue and one bag of pink.
YOUR BODY IS GOING TO DIE.
He takes another sip
from his Costa Coffee cup and chokes.
© Carl Burkitt 2022
So I remember when we were driving, driving in your car
They’re all singing it:
the shelf-stacker putting eggs on top of eggs,
the man who hates avocados,
the bloke unsure which ketchup to buy,
the woman who likes your jumper,
the woman juggling broccoli,
the checkout guy with a smile
in the shape of a bread knife.
None of us ever sat in your car.
We never felt the seatbelts tighten,
the leather never stuck to our legs.
We heard all about it though,
it was easier to talk about.
© Carl Burkitt 2022
We’re usually just so stressed we buy fish and chips
She’s on the radio
and they’re all laughing,
their skin as thick as batter.
© Carl Burkitt 2022
Hot air
Grandma is holding
an inflatable cock
while her girls go
to the toilet.
It is bigger than her
and her bags
and the entire train station
she’d like it
to float her
away
from.
© Carl Burkitt 2022
Lessons learned
Use walking poles as prevention not a cure. If a sheep
can poo on it, you can climb it. Being inside a cloud
does not make you rain. Use Vaseline as prevention
not a cure. If a slug can live on it, you can climb it.
Talk shite up a mountain, you don’t know what it’s
achieving.
© Carl Burkitt 2022
Ash
All the gear and all the ideas.
The kind of guy you text
when your kid asks a question
you don’t understand. His spine
is an encyclopaedia and reads
from it when you are ready.
What’s the best way to
use your walking poles, Ash?
Put your hands through
the bottom of the straps
and let them take the strain.
How do I get the bladder
straw working, Ash?
Don’t forget to bite it.
Why am I here, Ash?
Why not?
© Carl Burkitt 2022
I felt the sickness behind my eyes
She’s talking about
the kind brought on by travelling
through roads as thin as veins,
not the one that tiptoes its way
from the back of your head
when everything is working
as it should be. The kind
that waves through your window
even though you moved away
without telling it. I felt the sickness
behind my eyes but I didn’t give it
the satisfaction. Not today.
© Carl Burkitt 2022
Colin
He doesn’t want to try
your spicy butter bean pie.
He will tell you, If you fall
there’s nothing I can do,
so don’t fall. He will tell you
he is going to go to sleep
and bow his head like he is praying
to a God called Snooze
and be asleep before you say OK.
He will let you use his head as a map,
his back as a waterproof,
he laugh as a gust of wind
blowing you in the right direction.
He doesn’t want to try
your spicy butter bean pie.
© Carl Burkitt 2022
Smallsteps and Sideways
Smallsteps and Sideways is the latest police drama
set in the mountains of the Lake District
due to be released on the BBC in July 2022.
DI Smallsteps, a wholesome,
approachable man, is wildly effective
because of his popularity and gentle touch.
His quirky partner Sideways is unconventional
but by god she gets the job done.
In a tale as old as time, this unlikely duo
make the perfect odd couple
helping any innocent individual
subjected to injustice
dealt by their arch enemy S.Pike,
a brutal criminal of the highest order.
© Carl Burkitt 2022
Carl tells tales 