Diego Maradona,
When drunk,
Told people he was Madonna.
No one believed him,
But it sure didn’t stop him.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Winona Ryder
Saw a spider
And ran away
Forever.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Julia Roberts
Has a knee that hurts
Every time she walks.
It would crack and creek,
Get worse every week
And make her squeal and scream and squawk.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

John Cleese
Ate cheese, you see,
For every meal, until,
He was too heavy
For his knees.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Bob Hoskins
Bought son pigskin.
The furry bits.
Eurgh.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Katy Pery
Bought a ferry
It was very, very expenny.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Drake
Ate a rake
Mistaking it for hake.
It wasn’t great.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Ryan Reynolds
Bought a Renault.
Yep, the rest of Hollywood
Was surprised too.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Jeff Goldblum
Was feeling silly
So climbed inside a balloon.

It hurt his skin
And could barely breathe in,
But he still looked bloody sexy.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Kim Kardashian
Had the Sunday night blues.
Then she remembered
She was Kim Kardashian,
She could do whatever she wanted
Tomorrow morning.

© Carl Burkitt 2018