Don Cheadle
Saw a weasel
Sitting in his street.

He loved its face,
So grabbed an easel and paints
And created a weasel masterpiece.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Jon Stewart
Was covered in dirt.
He’d fallen over
And muddied his shirt.
And trousers
And shoes
And socks
And pants.
That was the real weird part.
How did the dirt get in his pants?

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Professor Green
Painted himself green
And bought some green trousers
And a green t-shirt
And a green hat
And a pair of green shoes
And began studying for his doctorate.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Natasha Bedingfield
Put her bed in a field.
She slept under the stars
And let her dreams float to Mars.
Her subconscious wrote lyrics
To the beat her snores hit.
That night her sleep
Was truly like no other,
Even better than last week
When she snoozed with her brother.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Christina Applegate
Was named as such
Because of a scandal
Involving a Granny Smith
And a man who was Dutch…

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Billy Connolly
Told a couple of jokes.
They were incredibly hilarious,
Cos, well, he was a funny bloke.
You know, it was his job.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Miley Cyrus
Contracted a virus
On her Apple Mac.
It was dreadful
And quite expensive to fix.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Mark Ruffalo
Bought a buffalo
Because it was an obvious
Thing to do

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Bjork went to York
For a talk on pork.
At the pork talk in York
Bjork was given a fork
To fork the York pork
With maximum torque.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Voice actor
Rodger Bumpass
Learnt to be funny at school
(I’d imagine).

© Carl Burkitt 2018