Judi Dench
Fell asleep on a bench
Using her Oscar as a pillow.
She woke up a day later
With a pounding headache,
Missing her wallet and shoes that were yellow.
No-one nicked her Oscar though,
They knew better than that.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Nicki Minaj
Climbed on her barge
And had a lovely day on the canal.
Proper tranquil.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Tom Waits
And waits
And waits
And waits
And waits
And waits
And waits
And waits
Until the green man appears
Before crossing the road.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Andrew Flintoff
Finally Googled “Freddie Flintoff”
And realised
It was a pretty shit nickname.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Little Richard
Wondered how old
He had to get
Until people called him
Big Richard

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Jay-Z was feeling hazy
After a day being lazy
Watching films by Martin Scorsese
Eating Spaghetti Bolognese
(Pronounced the Italian way(zy))

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Julianne Moore
Jumped on a seesaw.
There’s was no one on the other end.
It was rubbish.
And she missed her friends.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Pop sensation Britney Spears
Fulfilled a dream she had for years
And became a professional boxer.
Quite a surprise, right?
But the real surprise
Was that no opponent ever yelled
“Hit me baby one more time,” at her.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Sarah Silverman
Texted celebrity chef Duff Goldman:
“First the worst second the best.”
She then Googled ‘people called Bronzeman’
To slag off their hairy chest.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Ben Stiller
Sat down for dinner.
Imagine that.
Ben Stiller,
The movie star,
Just sat down eating dinner
Of an evening.
I wonder what he eats.
Could be anything,
I guess.

© Carl Burkitt 2018