Patrick Stewart
New it wasn’t going to be easy
Travelling through space
At his age.
So he didn’t bother.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Patrick Stewart
Knew it wasn’t going to be easy
Travelling through space
At his age.
So he didn’t bother.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Brock Lesnar
Trialed the name
Choc Lesnar.
UFC and WWE opponents
Were less scared to fight him
But he didn’t care,
He’d eventually laugh over their defeated bodies
And scoff one of his many, many
Endorsement Dairy Milks.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Lil’ Kim
Had a lil’ skim
Through a magazin’.
She could barely believe
The shit she was readin’.
(Something about golf,
Or maybe fishin’?)

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Chiwetel Ejiofor
Heard a knock at the door.
He opened the door
And couldn’t believe what he saw
Just there at his door.
It was a boar!
There was a boar
At the door
Of Chiwetel Ejiofor!
Imagine!

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Jack White
Was up all night
Worrying about Earth’s plight.
The next day
He legally changed his name
To Jack Green
And slept like a baby all week.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Jaden Smith
Made a dish
Of braised fresh fish
To hug and kiss.
Nom nom mwah.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Jack Whitehall
Had a frightful cold.
He took 12 Nytols
To help him sleep
But despite all the drugs
He lay awake all week.
(Turns out it was speed.
He’d taken 12 speeds.)

© Carl Burkitt 2019

50 Cent
Put his best suit on
And felt a million dollars.
Or, as he called it,
100,000,000 cent.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Edie Falco
Missed being in the Sopranos
So ate four tonnes of pasta,
Drank eight bottles of red wine
And called her dog a “Gabagool”.

© Carl Burkitt 2019