Dave Chappelle
Thought ‘what the hell!’
And threw caution to the wind.
He guzzled full fat milk
And binned the semi skimmed.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Famous basketball player
Seth Curry,
Believe it or not,
Did NOT enjoy a korma.
I know, right?

© Carl Burkitt 2019

James Corden
Was bored on the toilet
So started playing with things in the room.
It was all going well
Until he reached for shower gel,
Slipped and got covered in poo.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Usain Bolt
Did everything quickly.
Yep, EVERYTHING.
His dentist was not happy.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Amy Adams
Loved national anthems
So much she wrote one for herself.
It went:
“I am Amy and I am a country
And I quite like eating sandwiches.”
She wasn’t a great writer.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Fat Joe
Was very happy
With himself.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Thierry Henry
May have retired from playing football
But any chance he got
He would kick one thing between two other things.
A stone between two leaves,
A bag between two trees,
A frisbee between two dogs
A banana between two frogs,
A mouse between two owls
A firework between two clouds.
(The last one was the trickiest,
But not impossible – believe it or not.)

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Madonna,
When drunk,
Told people she was Diego Maradona.
No one believed her,
But it sure didn’t stop her.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Liverpool football-player
Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain
Hyphenated the-last
Two words-of
Each line-he
Would write-down.
It was-charming
I guess-but
Also tough-to
Read. But-when
Said out-loud
It didn’t-make
A difference-really.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Halle Berry
Really missed being Catwoman.
She went to the local fancy dress shop
But they’d just sold the last catsuit,
So she scuttled up the drainpipe
To cry of the roof
(And eat a dead rat).

© Carl Burkitt 2019