Heston Blumenthal ate his cheddar cheese sandwich
with a spoon.

© Carl Burkitt 2014

Heston Blumenthal made himself a
cheddar cheese sandwich.

© Carl Burkitt 2014

He kept on staring at her little face,
an image stained inside his eyes,
but just as when they were knee high
he waited for a time and place.

Her gift to him was a lengthy chase;
one she promised would last and never die.
He kept on staring at her little face,
an image stained inside his eyes.

On her last run she left barely a trace,
only one thing for her silent guy:
The stain inside consumed his cry,
as he looked into the six foot space;
he kept on staring at her little face.

© Carl Burkitt 2014

It was New Year’s Day
and Sean the toilet brush had
just finished an awful shift.

© Carl Burkitt 2014

Three misfits got themselves into a pickle.
The two hot ones had sex
as the other laughed
on the outside.

© Carl Burkitt 2014

Sandra Bullock watched all of her films,
back to back,
on fast forward.

She laughed at her squeaky voice.

© Carl Burkitt 2014

Sergeant Pepper cried in his barracks.

© Carl Burkitt 2014

The swan choked on little Sally’s
chunk of granary bread.
He cleared his throat
then snapped the clueless bitch’s arm.

© Carl Burkitt 2014

Treacle broke her leg.
Mr. Cartwright grabbed his shotgun,
pondered the loss of investment,
and took his own life.

© Carl Burkitt 2014