Since the fleeting moment my lips touched you,
I have not felt the same.
The warmth of your soft, pink flesh
upon my quivering tongue,
left a taste beyond compare;
Your flavour buckling my knees.
Days have become night since we intertwined;
Time but an elastic band pulling me
back and forth
whenever it chooses.
My nerves are fraught.
I’m half the man I used to be
with twice the amount of sweat.
I sit here,
upon my lonely throne,
a flock of butterflies performing somersaults within me,
my arse their only exit.
Oh sausage roll,
I shall never forgive you.

© Carl Burkitt 2014

Raymond was having a frustrating morning.
First he couldn’t find his milk,
then he couldn’t find his BLOODY SHOES!
His housemate Marky
told him to calm down.
“It’s not the end of the world mate,
you’ve gotta sort that temper out. Jesus.”
Marky rolled his eyes and went to work.

Two days later Raymond was on trial
after his shoes were found at the scene of a triple murder.

Marky glugged a pint of semi-skimmed
and texted Raymond’s girlfriend.

© Carl Burkitt 2014