Actor Morris Chestnut
Was roasting.
(Ha!)

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Ben Kingsley
Cracked his knuckles,
Greased up his head
And prepared himself
For another difficult,
But sexy year.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

LeBron James
Burst into flames
But woke up from his horrible dream
And then he burst into flames for real.
It was a terrible ordeal.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Jude Law
Broke his jaw.
Which was sad,
Because it was a beautiful jaw.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

When stuck for icebreakers at parties,
John Legend would tell strangers
His middle name was The.
When in actual fact it was
A Coke, Large Fries And A Chicken.
To be honest, I’d have led with that.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Wrestler Bill Goldberg
Stood on a dog turd.
He considered giving the dirty pooch
His finishing move, the Jackhammer,
But instead wiped his foot on the grass
And went back to his life of glamour.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Jared Leto
Completed his LEGO
And was bored with nothing to do.
He almost went to bed
But polished his Oscar instead
And the vain bugger
Was instantly less blue.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Annie Lennox
Didn’t win her Christmas cracker
So knocked her mate out.
Sweet dreams,
She said.

© Carl Burkitt 2018