A Short Play About Millie and Amanda

[MILLIE and AMANDA are unnecessarily watering the same houseplant at the same time.]

MILLIE: I’ve been thinking.

AMANDA: Go on.

MILLIE: Do you know what doesn’t get talked about enough?

AMANDA: Cillian Murphy’s portrayal of Jim in Danny Boyle’s 2002 post-apocalyptic horror film 28 Days Later?

MILLIE: Yep!

[Curtain]

Carl Burkitt 2024

A Short Play About Sandra and Eric

[ERIC is standing in the back garden staring at an apple tree. It’s a big bugger. Chock full of apples.]

ERIC: How long’s this been here?

[SANDRA, Eric’s life partner, is crunching through a recently purchased Pink Lady from the local Waitrose.]

SANDRA: I dunno, 40 years?

[Eric starts doing the maths on his fingers, watching juice and pips fly out of Sandra’s gob.]

[Curtain]

Carl Burkitt 2024

Champion

Teddy Riner from France just won his third individual +100kg men’s judo Olympic gold medal in his home country and I’m imagining my son being older then four, bigger than a bus, stronger than the jaws of a crocodile, deadlier than a forest fire, more respectful than a dojo of please and thank yous.

Carl Burkitt 2024

Love

I have no doubt Roger Federer’s dad forgot to pack Roger Federer’s tennis racquet for Roger Federer’s tennis lessons at least once and Rafa Nadal’s dad did not pack the right post-tennis lesson snack for Rafa Nadal and Andy Murray’s dad got Andy Murray to Andy Murray’s tennis lesson one minute late and I have no doubt Roger Federer’s dad and Rafa Nadal’s dad and Andy Murray’s dad spent that entire tennis lesson writing terrible poems in their pocket notebook for Roger Federer and Rafa Nadal and Andy Murray to find one day when they were dead. 

Carl Burkitt 2024

A Short Play About Julia and The Ghost

[JULIA is sitting up in bed, restless. THE GHOST is floating above her head.]

THE GHOST: Everything OK, Julia?

JULIA: I can’t sleep.

THE GHOST: Oh no, what’s wrong?

[A bit of ghost blood drips from a gaping wound in The Ghost’s torso,
landing on Julia’s pillow.]

JULIA: Big presentation to the board tomorrow.

THE GHOST: You’ll be great, hun.

[The Ghost’s face falls off.]

[Curtain]

Carl Burkitt 2024