His trouser legs are elongated SPAM,
the helmet on his head is half a lime.
He’s tried the pork pie, the veggie pie
and the vegan balti pie, all with different chutneys.
He’s here today from Stoke. The one metre long
battery from his E-bike is sitting on the table
between us, charging. He tells me
he bought it on a whim before Christmas.
The worst £1,400 I’ve ever spent.
He takes three separate sips of his ale tapas.
It’s helped me see the world though.
When he leaves the pub in an hour
he will tell me he has a school reunion to go to
and has nothing to talk about.

© Carl Burkitt 2022