Charlie Brooker started writing
A new Guardian column:
The man was jiggling like a one day old baboon made from the jelly of an anxious pork pie that had spent six hours stuck in the middle of the vertical descent of the Alton Towers Oblivion ride next to a passionately screeching orgy of Brian Blessed, an industrial sized pneumatic drill and the cast of Stomp in the eye of a tornado made out of bouncy castles, sledge hammers and a bucket of pig turd.
By the time he’d finished the opener
He’d completely forgotten what he was doing.
© Carl Burkitt 2020