This lift has a nice green floor, doesn’t it?
(No don’t say that.)

Any holidays coming up?
(You’d HATE to be asked that.)

When’s Michelle back?
(You don’t give two shits about Michelle.)

Wednesday, eh?
(…)

How’s your, the, the, those…
(WHAT?!)

I was…
(You don’t HAVE to speak – stay silent. Relax.)

“Ever been tempted to dye your hair?”
(…Jesus Christ.)

© Carl Burkitt 2019