Six years ago a gorgeous girl called Sam
Met a fun young chap by the name of Dan:
He went to Nottingham Trent and was cool and gritty
And had hilarious tales from the fabled Rock City;
He had decent hair and pretty sweet threads
And a badass nickname, the name of Pedz.
He loved football and Halo, he was a hell of a man
The lad from 104: as fit as a boy band.
Now the two fell in love relatively quickly
It’s a pairing that was just meant to be.
But half way through Dan’s 29th year
Everything seemed to step up a gear:
The couple relocated and bought a new home
They got new jobs and Dan proposed!
And as Pedz now enters his third whole decade
It’s safe to say a few other things have changed:
His bones are getting creaky – he’s more likely to get a stitch
So he’s waved goodbye to the old football pitch;
He’s swapped a beer for a whisky and is happy to leave the bar
For a nice comfy sofa and a big fat cigar.
But even when his hair disappears (without the use of clippers)
And he spends all his money on old man slippers,
Happily by his side will be a devoted, happy partner
Now until forever, his loving Mrs Garner.
© Carl Burkitt 2017
Brief by Sam O’Melia: “It’s my boyfriend’s 30th birthday and I would love a poem. We have just relocated, got new jobs, bought a house and got engaged, all in six months! Something about that?”
This piece was written as a part of a fundraising project for Rethink Mental Illness, where I’m inviting people to set me any writing brief in exchange for donations.