30 Years Old

Six years ago a gorgeous girl called Sam
Met a fun young chap by the name of Dan:

He went to Nottingham Trent and was cool and gritty
And had hilarious tales from the fabled Rock City;

He had decent hair and pretty sweet threads
And a badass nickname, the name of Pedz.

He loved football and Halo, he was a hell of a man
The lad from 104: as fit as a boy band.

Now the two fell in love relatively quickly
It’s a pairing that was just meant to be.

But half way through Dan’s 29th year
Everything seemed to step up a gear:

The couple relocated and bought a new home
They got new jobs and Dan proposed!

And as Pedz now enters his third whole decade
It’s safe to say a few other things have changed:

His bones are getting creaky – he’s more likely to get a stitch
So he’s waved goodbye to the old football pitch;

He’s swapped a beer for a whisky and is happy to leave the bar
For a nice comfy sofa and a big fat cigar.

But even when his hair disappears (without the use of clippers)
And he spends all his money on old man slippers,

Happily by his side will be a devoted, happy partner
Now until forever, his loving Mrs Garner.

© Carl Burkitt 2017

Brief by Sam O’Melia: “It’s my boyfriend’s 30th birthday and I would love a poem. We have just relocated, got new jobs, bought a house and got engaged, all in six months! Something about that?”

This piece was written as a part of a fundraising project for Rethink Mental Illness, where I’m inviting people to set me any writing brief in exchange for donations.

Read all of the details here and if you’d like to get involved, email ca.burkitt@gmail.com or Tweet @CarlBurkitt!

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