Erling Haaland takes a foam football to bed
with him. He calls it his ’round teddy bear’
and shoves it under his left armpit when he climbs 

under his duvet. When he brushes his teeth
in his blue and white star pyjamas, he decides
what he wants his dreams to be about: 

“Scoring a goal with his bum”
“A family of giraffes running in a field”
“Remembering I’m the best in the world”

Carl Burkitt 2026