I tried writing a kids’ poem about a seal drinking a hot chocolate in my local Costa Coffee but the seal started crying. At first, he didn’t know why he was crying, but his friend said, ‘It’s no surprise, you’ve not been happy since the day she left’ and the seal howled. He slapped his flippers together and said he couldn’t put on a show for people anymore. I’m not sure if you’ve ever heard a seal admit to how the pressures of life get to them, but it made me regret every pound I’ve ever given to a zoo.

Carl Burkitt 2025