James Bond started following me.
I first noticed him in the precinct on my way to ASDA
and he walked behind me into Oxfam
and eventually Costa. He was wearing
a natty tuxedo and had a kind of pistol, I suppose.
I was trying to see if he had any gadgets
like exploding pens or a redeemable personality
but he was sort of just staggering around
with Martini-breath. I’m sure
there were other references I missed
because I’m not really a fan of the franchise.

Carl Burkitt 2025