[MONT GOMERY MONTGOMERY is eating gold-tinted caviar out of the shell of giant tortoise using a unicorn horn as a spoon.]

MONT GOMERY MONTGOMERY: MONTY!

[In walks MONTY, Mont Gomery Montgomery’s butler (I know, it’s confusing).]

MONTY: Yeee-eeeeeees?

MONT GOMERY MONTGOMERY: Gimme a snog.

[They have a right old snoggy snoo.]

[Curtain]

Carl Burkitt 2025