[BABY is wearing a classic chef’s hat, a blue and white striped apron over a nappy, and is holding a plastic whisk and a wooden spoon. BABY’S PARENT is sat on the floor, admiring the beauty of Baby.]

BABY: What can I get you?

BABY’S PARENT: What do you have?

BABY: [Incoherent rage]

BABY’S PARENT: What did I do wrong?!

[Baby sets fire to the kitchen.]

[Curtain]

Carl Burkitt 2025