[ERIC is standing in the back garden staring at an apple tree. It’s a big bugger. Chock full of apples.]

ERIC: How long’s this been here?

[SANDRA, Eric’s life partner, is crunching through a recently purchased Pink Lady from the local Waitrose.]

SANDRA: I dunno, 40 years?

[Eric starts doing the maths on his fingers, watching juice and pips fly out of Sandra’s gob.]

[Curtain]

Carl Burkitt 2024