Erling Haaland has stopped calling
his dad “Daddy” and mum “Mummy”.
He knows how to play dominoes as of yesterday
and apologises now for accidentally hurting anyone.
Before we know it he will be
using his several hundred thousand pounds a week
wages to book his own train tickets,
buy his own trousers, cook a plant based ramen
for “Mum” and “Dad”.

Carl Burkitt 2024