Jason Statham is in Costa Coffee
eating a shortbread biscuit. He’s already
chopped it in two with his talented punching hands
and is telling anyone who will listen
about the subtlety of his performance
in the film Snatch. “I could’ve been the bare
knuckle boxer played by Brad Pitt,” he growls
at a group of mums with prams catching up
after their weekly baby class, “but it’s important
to stretch yourself sometimes, you know.”
He orders a third double espresso and asks
the tattooed guy behind the till if he even remembers
Stephen Graham in that film, ignoring the pay machine.
“Of course you don’t,” interrupts Statham,
“I stole every bleedin’ scene.”

Carl Burkitt 2024

Written while listening to ‘Golden Brown’ by The Stranglers.