I went on the TV show MasterChef and cooked nothing.
Gregg Wallace yelled enthusiasm at my “bold decision”
and John Torode beamed how he’d never seen anything
like it. The other contestants were stunned as I secured
a semi final place. I folded my apron, slipped it into my bag,
and went back to the hotel to tell my family the news
and apologise I couldn’t be home sooner.

Carl Burkitt 2024