The king of Scotland in the pub
with pork pie knuckles and a two pound tip
twinkling in his eye. A toddler with frog’s legs,
airplane arms and Rice Krispie teeth.
A fish with a fishing rod. A wardrobe in a hi-vis jacket.
A landlord made from the pages of a phone book.
A mixologist with disco ball earrings
disappointed with a breakfast tea order.
A commuter holding a steering wheel
like a dog-sitter pinching the top of a stuffed
poo bag. A debutant butcher holding his breath.
A gladiator with an NHS laptop. Laurel and Hardy
if Laurel and Hardy couldn’t write jokes.

© Carl Burkitt 2023