Ex-footballer Emile Heskey
Was fed up of those pesky
Kids across the road,
Especially the son of Lesley,
(Also called Lesley)
Who pelted the former number 9’s
Number 9 house
With Walkers Crisps, acorns, cans of Carlsberg
And other old sponsors of the striker’s old teams.
It wasn’t too bad, to be honest,
Until Lesley threw the entire staff
Of a local Standard Chartered Bank
Against the walls of Emile’s place.
Poor bastards.

© Carl Burkitt 2019