Steven Gerrard
Thought books were hard.
Not hard as in hard,
Hard as in ‘ard.
Tough. Buff.
You know,
Double ‘ard.
He said:
“I read every day,
It beats exercise in every way.
When books and words are long
They make you strong.
They fill your brain with thoughts
That no muscle can thwart.”
He picked up the nearest book
And smashed his skull with it.
“See,” he said.
“Didn’t even hurt me.”

© Carl Burkitt 2018