Cornwall. 14th June 2014. 23.45pm – Half time.

Hazel, 94, turns to Barbara, 96.

HAZEL: The problem with Glen Johnson is that he doesn’t release quick enough.

BARBARA: Unlike me…

HAZEL: Ha. But yes, dear, he holds on for too long and just doesn’t let go fast enough. He doesn’t always lose it, but often it clips an Italian player or he just times it wrong. He just doesn’t release it easily.

BARBARA: Unlike me..

HAZEL: You said that, dear.

BARBARA: Hazel…

HAZEL: Mm?

BARBARA: I’ve shat myself.

© Carl Burkitt 2014