67 people gathered outside Matalan
(Most were teenagers but there was one old widow)
They were all staring at the gross young man
Who was sexually assaulting the 20 foot photo of a model stuck to the shop window.

He was slapping his penis against her giant face
Whilst resting his scrotum on her chin.
PC Chambers sprayed the guy with a can of strong mace
Before PC Cole twatted him against a litter bin.

They scooped him off the floor and plonked him in the riot van.
“I love her!” the guy screamed, as his eyes began to burn and fizz.
The teens and widow all laughed at the strange little man
As the window cleaner tutted and started scraping off the jizz.

© Carl Burkitt 2013